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#340
If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?
#31
Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.
#15
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life.
#634
Tornados occur when Chuck Norris sneezes.
#407
Chuck Norris is his own line at the DMV.
#679
Chuck Norris understands women.
#206
Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.
#207
Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.
#217
Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.
#483
Chuck Norris describes human beings as "a sociable holder for blood and guts".
#402
For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.
#229
When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.
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