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The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
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#265
Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
#452
One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.
#704
Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.
#502
Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft.
#221
As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
#15
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life.
#169
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
#418
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
#461
The air around Chuck Norris is always a balmy 78 degrees.
#668
Chuck Norris once thought he was wrong. He was, however, mistaken.
#214
Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.
#458
The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.
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