Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#525

Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.

#488

Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.

#394

Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he's roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.

#519

Chuck Norris can instantiate an abstract class.

#95

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

#363

Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.

#603

Chuck Norris could use anything in java.util.* to kill you, including the javadocs.

#447

Chuck Norris' dick is so big, it has it's own dick, and that dick is still bigger than yours.

#282

Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

#687

Chuck Norris can break water in half.

#305

Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.

#462

When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.