Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#562

Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.

#672

Chuck Norris can laugh with a straight face.

#473

A man once taunted Chuck Norris with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Chuck Norris proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.

#494

Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().

#243

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.

#388

A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.

#491

Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.

#93

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

#618

Once death had a near Chuck Norris experience.

#398

Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.

#9

Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this a slow Tuesday.

#157

Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!