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Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
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#691
Chuck Norris is Simon Cowell's judge.
#52
Chuck Norris' log statements are always at the FATAL level.
#478
Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.
#667
The French talk to Chuck Norris in English.
#123
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
#187
A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.
#711
What is the last thing that goes through the head of any Chuck Norris victim? His foot.
#102
Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.
#112
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
#504
Chuck Norris doesn't use web standards as the web will conform to him.
#534
Chuck Norris breaks RSA 128-bit encrypted codes in milliseconds.
#399
In a tagteam match, Chuck Norris was teamed with Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The Giant. He pinned all 3 at the same time.
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