Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#319

The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.

#341

70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

#282

Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

#381

Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.

#262

That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.

#374

As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.

#189

There is in fact an 'I' in Norris, but there is no 'team'. Not even close.

#148

Chuck Norris doesnt shave, he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

#325

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.

#286

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.

#746

Chuck Norris remembers the future.

#715

Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.