Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#319

The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.

#269

Crime does not pay - unless you are an undertaker following Walker, Texas Ranger, on a routine patrol.

#327

They had to edit the first ending of 'Lone Wolf McQuade' after Chuck Norris kicked David Carradine's ass, then proceeded to barbecue and eat him.

#105

Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes. He disembowels them.

#551

Every SQL statement that Chuck Norris codes has an implicit "COMMIT" in its end.

#301

Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the face. This is why it is so deadly to Superman.

#421

Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.

#283

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

#10

When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.

#344

Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.

#653

Chuck Norris can win a staring contest while blinking.

#252

Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.