Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#183

Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.

#713

Chuck Norris drove his mom home from the hospital after she gave birth to him.

#626

Chuck Norris doesn't need a keyboard he tells the computer to write something and it does.

#95

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

#639

Chuck Norris can lock a safe and keep the key inside it.

#702

Chuck Norris finished the neverending story.

#490

All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.

#123

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.

#442

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

#741

Chuck Norris can suck a garden hose through a golf ball.

#305

Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.

#450

Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.