Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#270

Chuck Norris invented the internet, just so he had a place to store his porn.

#129

A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

#66

If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.

#516

Chuck Norris doesn't need sudo, he just types "Chuck Norris" before his commands.

#325

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.

#31

Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.

#395

Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag.

#183

Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.

#99

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse kick you in the face.

#124

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

#354

Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with obstruction of justice. This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time.

#281

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.