Chuck Norris can suck a garden hose through a golf ball. 8 5 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 62% approval (13 votes)
Chuck Norris does not need to type-cast. The Chuck-Norris Compiler (CNC) sees through things. All way down. Always.
Chuck Norris can kick through all 6 degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere, in the face, at any time.
Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.
The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.
When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.
Chuck Norris owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets.
Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.