Chuck Norris can suck a garden hose through a golf ball.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#249

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

#84

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

#400

Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.

#495

Chuck Norris' first program was kill -9.

#500

Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.

#240

Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris"

#376

Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him "a promising Rookie".

#711

What is the last thing that goes through the head of any Chuck Norris victim? His foot.

#508

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

#45

Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.

#478

Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.

#219

The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.