Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him "a promising Rookie".

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More Chuck Norris facts

#239

If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.

#188

Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.

#66

If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.

#556

Chuck Norris solved the halting problem.

#589

Chuck Norris knows the value of NULL, and he can sort by it too.

#560

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

#723

Chuck Norris can buy the Sunday paper on Tuesday.

#307

Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

#728

Chuck Norris has won the lifetime achievement award...twice.

#456

The term "Cleveland Steamer" got its name from Chuck Norris, when he took a dump while visiting the Rock and Roll Hall of fame and buried northern Ohio under a glacier of fecal matter.

#601

Chuck Norris can download emails with his pick-up.

#194

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.