Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way. 316 302 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 51% approval (618 votes)
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.
The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.
Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God".
Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.