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Chuck Norris can binary search unsorted data.
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#592
Chuck Norris doesn't have pubic hairs because hair doesn't grow on balls of steel.
#719
Chuck Norris won the Tour de France with a stationary bicycle.
#524
Chuck Norris is actually the front man for Apple. He let's Steve Jobs run the show when he's on a mission. Chuck Norris is always on a mission.
#463
Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
#525
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
#406
The 11th commandment is "Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris". This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.
#475
In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
#89
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
#83
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
#526
Chuck Norris solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here's the pseudo-code: Break salesman into N pieces. Kick each piece to a different city.
#391
Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil.
#695
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
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