Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close. 310 360 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 46% approval (670 votes)
According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Chuck Norris created God by snapping his fingers.
Chuck Norris is actually the front man for Apple. He let's Steve Jobs run the show when he's on a mission. Chuck Norris is always on a mission.
It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.
Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always answers "Two seconds till". After you ask "Two seconds to what?", he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.