Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close. 310 360 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 46% approval (670 votes)
Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.
Chuck Norris does not need to type-cast. The Chuck-Norris Compiler (CNC) sees through things. All way down. Always.
Every time someone uses the word "intense", Chuck Norris always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.
According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Chuck Norris created God by snapping his fingers.
It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.
Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.