Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close. 310 360 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 46% approval (670 votes)
It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.
Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Chuck Norris created God by snapping his fingers.
Chuck Norris does not need to type-cast. The Chuck-Norris Compiler (CNC) sees through things. All way down. Always.