Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#432

Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.

#687

Chuck Norris can break water in half.

#322

Chuck Norris can taste lies.

#613

Chuck Norris can make onions cry.

#610

Dark spots on the Moon are the result of Chuck Norris' shooting practice.

#504

Chuck Norris doesn't use web standards as the web will conform to him.

#363

Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.

#217

Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.

#489

When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it's across the room.

#378

President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time.

#699

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

#80

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.