Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.

332 255

More Chuck Norris facts

#744

Chuck Norris once ran around the Earth so fast he was able to roundhouse kick himself in the ass.

#551

Every SQL statement that Chuck Norris codes has an implicit "COMMIT" in its end.

#440

Chuck Norris runs on batteries. Specifically, Die Hards.

#325

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.

#475

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.

#192

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

#708

Chuck Norris died years ago, but the grim reaper can’t pick up the courage to tell him.

#103

Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.

#399

In a tagteam match, Chuck Norris was teamed with Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The Giant. He pinned all 3 at the same time.

#652

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

#293

Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.

#591

Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on 32 bit machines.