Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#255

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

#111

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

#317

Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.

#719

Chuck Norris won the Tour de France with a stationary bicycle.

#473

A man once taunted Chuck Norris with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Chuck Norris proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.

#307

Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

#440

Chuck Norris runs on batteries. Specifically, Die Hards.

#700

Guns are warned not to play with Chuck Norris.

#361

All roads lead to Chuck Norris. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face.

#75

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

#586

Chuck Norris killed two stones with one bird.

#340

If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?