Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.

332 255

More Chuck Norris facts

#459

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

#109

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

#219

The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.

#741

Chuck Norris can suck a garden hose through a golf ball.

#626

Chuck Norris doesn't need a keyboard he tells the computer to write something and it does.

#525

Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.

#619

Once Chuck Norris and Superman had a competition. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.

#8

Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

#145

When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.

#608

Once a police officer caught Chuck Norris, the cop was lucky enough to escape with a warning.

#288

Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

#297

Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.