Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#339

Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

#311

Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.

#622

Chuck Norris can remember the future.

#85

According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.

#80

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

#321

Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face.

#254

Chuck Norris was what Willis was talkin' about.

#195

Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.

#148

Chuck Norris doesnt shave, he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

#114

Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe with eleven herbs and spices. Nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

#73

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

#41

Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.