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If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
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#729
Chuck Norris runs laps around his opponent, in a drag race.
#1
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always answers "Two seconds till". After you ask "Two seconds to what?", he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
#137
Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.
#676
Chuck Norris has size ten feet but wears size three shoes.
#411
When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
#507
Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
#17
The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.
#706
When Chuck Norris turned 18, his parents moved out.
#550
Chuck Norris can compile syntax errors.
#529
Chuck Norris can write multi-threaded applications with a single thread.
#220
Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.
#259
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
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