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If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
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#598
Chuck Norris doesn't need an account. He just logs in.
#634
Tornados occur when Chuck Norris sneezes.
#398
Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.
#324
One time, Chuck Norris accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio.
#589
Chuck Norris knows the value of NULL, and he can sort by it too.
#111
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
#261
Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy.
#248
The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons: Chuck Norris killed the entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice.
#340
If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?
#283
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
#153
When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
#17
The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.
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