If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#378

President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time.

#627

Chuck Norris once pissed in a gas tank of a semi truck as a joke - that truck is now know as Optimus Prime.

#450

Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.

#503

Project managers never ask Chuck Norris for estimations... ever.

#381

Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.

#713

Chuck Norris drove his mom home from the hospital after she gave birth to him.

#94

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

#158

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

#30

Chuck Norris' version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.

#249

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

#652

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

#282

Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.