If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#529

Chuck Norris can write multi-threaded applications with a single thread.

#483

Chuck Norris describes human beings as "a sociable holder for blood and guts".

#140

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

#158

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

#378

President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time.

#372

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

#94

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

#367

In the Words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Chuck Norris". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked inthe face by Chuck Norris.

#259

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

#421

Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.

#511

Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.

#465

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in ravioli. He stuffs a live turtle with beef and smothers it in pig's blood.