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If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
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#519
Chuck Norris can instantiate an abstract class.
#27
Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.
#690
Chuck Norris caught a bullet by blinking.
#642
Chuck Norris can hear the speed of light.
#445
Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims.
#633
Chuck Norris doesn't win, he allows you to lose.
#727
Chuck Norris bit the apple logo.
#322
Chuck Norris can taste lies.
#355
Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
#166
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother's womb.
#707
Some people can piss their name in to snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name in to concrete.
#229
When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.
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