If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#125

Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

#715

Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.

#444

When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.

#84

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

#280

One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

#27

Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.

#295

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

#390

Chuck Norris owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets.

#155

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

#736

When Chuck Norris stares into the abyss, the abyss nervously looks away.

#93

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

#623

Chuck Norris doesn't age, because time cannot keep up with him.