Chuck Norris' penis is a third degree blackbelt, and an honorable 32nd-degree mason.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#544

Chuck Norris programs occupy 150% of CPU, even when they are not executing.

#188

Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.

#350

Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.

#617

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

#168

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.

#354

Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with obstruction of justice. This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time.

#621

Chuck Norris tears can cure the cancer, but the sad thing is Chuck Norris never cries.

#207

Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.

#67

The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.

#475

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.

#337

Chuck Norris has never been in a fight, ever. Do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight?

#221

As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.