Chuck Norris' penis is a third degree blackbelt, and an honorable 32nd-degree mason.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#418

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.

#730

The reason Superman flies is because he knows Chuck Norris is on the ground.

#84

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

#8

Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

#52

Chuck Norris' log statements are always at the FATAL level.

#357

Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard.

#693

It's never a party without Chuck Norris.

#297

Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.

#367

In the Words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Chuck Norris". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked inthe face by Chuck Norris.

#337

Chuck Norris has never been in a fight, ever. Do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight?

#319

The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.

#187

A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.