Chuck Norris' penis is a third degree blackbelt, and an honorable 32nd-degree mason. 299 306 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 49% approval (605 votes)
While investigating a series of reported sonic booms in the area around Chuck Norris' home, authorities determined Chuck was just testing chili recipes.
The crossing lights in Chuck Norris' home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Chuck Norris punching or kicking a pedestrian.
Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
Chuck Norris' version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.