Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#565

No one has ever spoken during review of Chuck Norris' code and lived to tell about it.

#116

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

#229

When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.

#645

Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.

#554

Chuck Norris doesn't use a computer because a computer does everything slower than Chuck Norris.

#295

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

#299

Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill.

#364

In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease"

#79

Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.

#35

If you rearrange the letters in "Chuck Norris", they also spell "Crush Rock In". The words "with his fists" are understood.

#683

Miss Daisy drove Chuck Norris.

#369

Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.