Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#18

Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

#31

Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.

#637

Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his faucet, he stares at it until it cries.

#699

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

#333

Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

#578

When Chuck Norris break the build, you can't fix it, because there is not a single line of code left.

#389

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

#291

Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.

#489

When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it's across the room.

#526

Chuck Norris solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here's the pseudo-code: Break salesman into N pieces. Kick each piece to a different city.

#257

Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground

#464

According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Chuck Norris created God by snapping his fingers.