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Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
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#686
Chuck Norris can look at you in a tone of voice.
#668
Chuck Norris once thought he was wrong. He was, however, mistaken.
#277
Brokeback Mountain is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.
#548
Chuck Norris doesn't need an OS.
#516
Chuck Norris doesn't need sudo, he just types "Chuck Norris" before his commands.
#494
Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().
#142
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
#613
Chuck Norris can make onions cry.
#295
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
#386
Chuck Norris' credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out.
#42
Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God".
#729
Chuck Norris runs laps around his opponent, in a drag race.
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