Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#147

Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.

#665

Chuck Norris doesn't drive, he tells the car where to go.

#75

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

#518

Chuck Norris can access private methods.

#354

Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with obstruction of justice. This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time.

#269

Crime does not pay - unless you are an undertaker following Walker, Texas Ranger, on a routine patrol.

#271

Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

#335

The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.

#212

A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer

#390

Chuck Norris owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets.

#281

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

#715

Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.