Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#194

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.

#492

Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself.

#323

Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.

#175

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

#173

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

#469

Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off.

#511

Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.

#558

Chuck Norris once won a game of connect four in 3 moves.

#255

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

#627

Chuck Norris once pissed in a gas tank of a semi truck as a joke - that truck is now know as Optimus Prime.

#206

Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.

#712

Mike Tyson chipped a tooth on Chuck Norris' ear.