As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris." 281 289 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 49% approval (570 votes)
Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.
Chuck Norris owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets.
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe with eleven herbs and spices. Nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.