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As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."
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#687
Chuck Norris can break water in half.
#171
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
#110
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
#347
Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.
#215
Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
#629
Chuck Norris can stand on his head. His dick-head.
#455
Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does.
#590
China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
#562
Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.
#28
When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'.
#593
Chuck Norris can write to an output stream.
#17
The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.
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