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As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."
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#620
Chuck Norris can make fire using two ice cubes.
#386
Chuck Norris' credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out.
#434
For Spring Break '05, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.
#629
Chuck Norris can stand on his head. His dick-head.
#642
Chuck Norris can hear the speed of light.
#286
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.
#586
Chuck Norris killed two stones with one bird.
#659
Chuck Norris' cat has 10 lives.
#365
Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.
#198
The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.
#85
According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.
#398
Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.
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