Chuck Norris can spawn threads that complete before they are started. 278 310 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 47% approval (588 votes)
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
They had to edit the first ending of 'Lone Wolf McQuade' after Chuck Norris kicked David Carradine's ass, then proceeded to barbecue and eat him.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.