Chuck Norris can spawn threads that complete before they are started. 278 310 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 47% approval (588 votes)
They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.
If you rearrange the letters in "Chuck Norris", they also spell "Crush Rock In". The words "with his fists" are understood.
Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.
Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.
Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.