Chuck Norris can spawn threads that complete before they are started. 280 310 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 47% approval (590 votes)
They had to edit the first ending of 'Lone Wolf McQuade' after Chuck Norris kicked David Carradine's ass, then proceeded to barbecue and eat him.
According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Chuck Norris created God by snapping his fingers.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Chuck Norris does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.
Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.