Chuck Norris can spawn threads that complete before they are started. 278 308 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 47% approval (586 votes)
The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close.
Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.
Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.
According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Chuck Norris created God by snapping his fingers.
If you rearrange the letters in "Chuck Norris", they also spell "Crush Rock In". The words "with his fists" are understood.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.