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Roundhouse your way through
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Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
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#183
Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.
#230
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
#370
When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
#265
Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
#124
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
#736
When Chuck Norris stares into the abyss, the abyss nervously looks away.
#132
Chuck Norris' house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
#684
Chuck Norris can see ultra-violet light.
#611
Chuck Norris died before 20 years, Death doesn't have the courage to tell him yet.
#392
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
#490
All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.
#730
The reason Superman flies is because he knows Chuck Norris is on the ground.
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