Chuck Norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.

322 265

More Chuck Norris facts

#116

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

#649

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

#259

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

#428

Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.

#231

Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.

#737

When Chuck Norris went to college, he told his father "You're the man of the house now".

#440

Chuck Norris runs on batteries. Specifically, Die Hards.

#311

Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.

#251

Chuck Norris began selling the Total Gym as an ill-fated attempt to make his day-to-day opponents less laughably pathetic.

#481

Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.

#59

Champions eat wheaties for breakfast. Chuck Norris eats champions for breakfast.

#377

There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.