Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.

275 307

More Chuck Norris facts

#118

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.

#468

Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.

#194

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.

#509

Chuck Norris' beard can type 140 wpm.

#170

You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.

#220

Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.

#135

Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

#482

When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.

#559

With Chuck Norris P = NP. There's no nondeterminism with Chuck Norris decisions.

#412

Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.

#99

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse kick you in the face.

#715

Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.