Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#115

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

#347

Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.

#332

The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.

#90

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

#96

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

#14

Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.

#360

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

#684

Chuck Norris can see ultra-violet light.

#281

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

#488

Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.

#511

Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.

#73

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.