Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#486

Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.

#31

Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.

#567

Chuck Norris doesn't use Oracle, he is the Oracle.

#105

Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes. He disembowels them.

#492

Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself.

#597

Chuck Norris sits at the stand-up.

#592

Chuck Norris doesn't have pubic hairs because hair doesn't grow on balls of steel.

#428

Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.

#274

Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.

#394

Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he's roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.

#633

Chuck Norris doesn't win, he allows you to lose.

#676

Chuck Norris has size ten feet but wears size three shoes.