Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God". 324 284 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 53% approval (608 votes)
Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother's womb.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick).
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face.