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Roundhouse your way through
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Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God".
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#207
Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.
#494
Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().
#330
4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.
#305
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
#85
According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.
#154
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
#365
Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.
#68
Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
#554
Chuck Norris doesn't use a computer because a computer does everything slower than Chuck Norris.
#500
Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.
#639
Chuck Norris can lock a safe and keep the key inside it.
#673
Chuck Norris can tie his shoe while running.
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