Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God". 322 284 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 53% approval (606 votes)
When Chuck Norris break the build, you can't fix it, because there is not a single line of code left.
It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always answers "Two seconds till". After you ask "Two seconds to what?", he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he's roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.
Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.