Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God".

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More Chuck Norris facts

#486

Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.

#391

Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil.

#357

Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard.

#552

Chuck Norris does not need to type-cast. The Chuck-Norris Compiler (CNC) sees through things. All way down. Always.

#239

If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.

#105

Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes. He disembowels them.

#331

Chuck Norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes.

#335

The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.

#488

Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.

#720

When Chuck Norris crosses the road, the cars have to look both ways.

#390

Chuck Norris owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets.

#587

Chuck Norris can speak Braille.