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Roundhouse your way through
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Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
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#70
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light
#198
The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.
#470
Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.
#690
Chuck Norris caught a bullet by blinking.
#677
Chuck Norris doesn't listen to heavy metal, he eats it for breakfast.
#339
Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
#41
Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
#394
Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he's roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.
#711
What is the last thing that goes through the head of any Chuck Norris victim? His foot.
#166
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother's womb.
#280
One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
#160
Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
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