Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#386

Chuck Norris' credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out.

#647

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.

#211

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

#393

When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Chuck Norris". It is also known as a "Bloody Mary", if your name happens to be Mary.

#171

Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.

#158

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

#395

Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag.

#602

Chuck Norris can make a class that is both abstract and final.

#472

Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.

#625

Chuck Norris understands every definition in the Oxford Thesaurus, except one - "mercy".

#291

Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.

#642

Chuck Norris can hear the speed of light.