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Roundhouse your way through
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Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
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#618
Once death had a near Chuck Norris experience.
#398
Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.
#106
Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
#362
July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? I think not.
#115
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
#195
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
#168
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
#422
After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
#181
Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
#20
Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Chuck, Hidden Norris"
#599
How many Chuck Norris' require to screw a light bulb? None, he will screw it all.
#243
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
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