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#713
Chuck Norris drove his mom home from the hospital after she gave birth to him.
#355
Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
#532
There is no Esc key on Chuck Norris' keyboard, because no one escapes Chuck Norris.
#181
Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
#622
Chuck Norris can remember the future.
#714
When Chuck Norris enters into a courtroom, the judge stands up.
#446
In the movie "The Matrix", Chuck Norris is the Matrix. If you pay close attention in the green "falling code" scenes, you can make out the faint texture of his beard.
#205
Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.
#696
When Chuck Norris claps his hands thunder stays quiet.
#663
Chuck Norris can find the 404 page.
#216
Once you go Norris, you are physically unable to go back.
#442
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
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