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#481
Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.
#348
Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.
#36
The original title for Star Wars was "Skywalker: Texas Ranger". Starring Chuck Norris.
#614
Chuck Norris can watch the radio.
#333
Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
#83
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
#738
COVID-19 is desperate to develop a vaccine against Chuck Norris.
#149
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
#637
Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his faucet, he stares at it until it cries.
#445
Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims.
#167
Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
#165
Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
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