Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#330

4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.

#346

MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.

#105

Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes. He disembowels them.

#552

Chuck Norris does not need to type-cast. The Chuck-Norris Compiler (CNC) sees through things. All way down. Always.

#28

When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'.

#258

It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.

#85

According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.

#290

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.

#463

Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.

#641

Chuck Norris once arm-wrestled himself ... and won.

#597

Chuck Norris sits at the stand-up.

#491

Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.