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Roundhouse your way through
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Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
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#398
Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.
#526
Chuck Norris solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here's the pseudo-code: Break salesman into N pieces. Kick each piece to a different city.
#585
Product Owners never argue with Chuck Norris after he demonstrates the DropKick feature.
#114
Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe with eleven herbs and spices. Nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
#190
Scotty in Star Trek often says "Ye cannae change the laws of physics. This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.
#352
It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.
#737
When Chuck Norris went to college, he told his father "You're the man of the house now".
#185
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
#17
The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.
#683
Miss Daisy drove Chuck Norris.
#84
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
#556
Chuck Norris solved the halting problem.
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