Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#605

Only Chuck Norris shuts down websites without due process, not SOPA or PIPA.

#223

Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.

#774

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird!

#418

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.

#321

Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face.

#547

Chuck Norris can install iTunes without installing Quicktime.

#363

Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.

#352

It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.

#171

Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.

#543

Chuck Norris protocol design method has no status, requests or responses, only commands.

#280

One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

#154

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.