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Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
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#499
Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions and have them return.
#240
Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris"
#254
Chuck Norris was what Willis was talkin' about.
#307
Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
#422
After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
#75
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
#670
Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
#148
Chuck Norris doesnt shave, he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
#244
Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.
#163
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
#602
Chuck Norris can make a class that is both abstract and final.
#13
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
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