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The Drummer for Def Leppard's only got one arm. Chuck Norris needed a back scratcher.
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#715
Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
#707
Some people can piss their name in to snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name in to concrete.
#290
In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
#466
Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Forty seven times.
#187
A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.
#414
Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
#77
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
#175
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
#555
Chuck Norris compresses his files by doing a flying round house kick to the hard drive.
#428
Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.
#384
Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.
#538
Chuck Norris hosting is 101% uptime guaranteed.
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