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Roundhouse your way through
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Chuck Norris understands every definition in the Oxford Thesaurus, except one - "mercy".
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#246
There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
#392
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
#341
70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.
#443
Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.
#628
Chuck Norris plays pool with comets and astroids. He shoots them into black holes.
#31
Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.
#401
Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets.
#667
The French talk to Chuck Norris in English.
#312
Chuck Norris used to play baseball. When Babe Ruth was hailed as the better player, Chuck Norris killed him with a baseball bat to the throat. Lou Gehrig got off easy.
#66
If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.
#682
Chuck Norris voids warranties.
#466
Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Forty seven times.
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