The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#361

All roads lead to Chuck Norris. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face.

#629

Chuck Norris can stand on his head. His dick-head.

#705

Chuck Norris can read a book in his sleep.

#221

As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

#194

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.

#701

Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.

#391

Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil.

#175

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

#119

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

#530

Chuck Norris doesn't need to use AJAX because pages are too afraid to postback anyways.

#465

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in ravioli. He stuffs a live turtle with beef and smothers it in pig's blood.

#339

Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.