The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#421

Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.

#194

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.

#478

Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.

#135

Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

#265

Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.

#467

The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was a game vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls. Chuck Norris won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.

#293

Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.

#588

Chuck Norris can over-write a locked variable.

#475

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.

#327

They had to edit the first ending of 'Lone Wolf McQuade' after Chuck Norris kicked David Carradine's ass, then proceeded to barbecue and eat him.

#26

As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."

#632

Knock knock, who's there? Chuck Norris! Chuck Norris who? Sorry, joke is over when Chuck Norris gets involved!