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The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
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#324
One time, Chuck Norris accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio.
#546
Chuck Norris programs do not accept input.
#215
Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
#462
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
#350
Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
#236
In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.
#575
Each hair in Chuck Norris' beard contributes to make the world's largest DDOS.
#187
A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.
#653
Chuck Norris can win a staring contest while blinking.
#29
Chuck Norris kills anyone that asks: "Do you want fries with that?". Because by now everyone should know that Chuck doesn't want fries with anything. Ever.
#687
Chuck Norris can break water in half.
#135
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
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