Condoms wear Chuck Norris for protection.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#300

The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!

#96

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

#18

Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

#288

Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

#388

A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.

#393

When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Chuck Norris". It is also known as a "Bloody Mary", if your name happens to be Mary.

#33

Coroners refer to dead people as "ABC's". Already Been Chucked.

#463

Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.

#116

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

#586

Chuck Norris killed two stones with one bird.

#603

Chuck Norris could use anything in java.util.* to kill you, including the javadocs.

#547

Chuck Norris can install iTunes without installing Quicktime.