Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#632

Knock knock, who's there? Chuck Norris! Chuck Norris who? Sorry, joke is over when Chuck Norris gets involved!

#323

Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.

#495

Chuck Norris' first program was kill -9.

#554

Chuck Norris doesn't use a computer because a computer does everything slower than Chuck Norris.

#503

Project managers never ask Chuck Norris for estimations... ever.

#295

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

#309

When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.

#424

When Arnold says "I'll be back" in Terminator movie it is implied that he's going to ask Chuck Norris for help.

#548

Chuck Norris doesn't need an OS.

#86

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

#373

Every time someone uses the word "intense", Chuck Norris always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.

#579

Chuck Norris types with one finger. He points it at the keyboard and the keyboard does the rest.