Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#491

Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.

#445

Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims.

#340

If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?

#338

There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.

#656

Chuck Norris can go past the Character limit.

#193

Using his trademark roundhouse kick, Chuck Norris once made a fieldgoal in RJ Stadium in Tampa Bay from the 50 yard line of Qualcomm stadium in San Diego.

#240

Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris"

#552

Chuck Norris does not need to type-cast. The Chuck-Norris Compiler (CNC) sees through things. All way down. Always.

#109

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

#377

There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.

#318

He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.

#91

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.