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Fact #307

Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

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Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. Chuck Norris can kick through all 6 degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere, in the face, at any time. Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO. CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time. A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time. It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself. See Top 100

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Every Morning.

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