When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul. 344 331 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 51% approval (675 votes)
Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.