When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul. 343 330 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 51% approval (673 votes)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
Chuck Norris doesn't believe in ravioli. He stuffs a live turtle with beef and smothers it in pig's blood.
Chuck Norris can kick through all 6 degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere, in the face, at any time.