When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul. 343 330 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 51% approval (673 votes)
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark.
Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris"
President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time.