When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul. 343 330 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 51% approval (673 votes)
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.