Chuck Norris was the reason E.T. went home.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#87

The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.

#280

One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

#477

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

#8

Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

#240

Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris"

#80

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

#148

Chuck Norris doesnt shave, he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

#109

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

#265

Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.

#545

Chuck Norris can spawn threads that complete before they are started.

#290

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.

#463

Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.