Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.

322 317

More Chuck Norris facts

#451

When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.

#52

Chuck Norris' log statements are always at the FATAL level.

#275

Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.

#264

Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.

#670

Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.

#19

Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.

#290

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.

#120

Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

#312

Chuck Norris used to play baseball. When Babe Ruth was hailed as the better player, Chuck Norris killed him with a baseball bat to the throat. Lou Gehrig got off easy.

#733

Santa Claus tells Chuck Norris what he wants for Christmas.

#87

The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.

#249

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.