Chuck Norris bit the apple logo. 310 329 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 49% approval (639 votes)
Chuck Norris is actually the front man for Apple. He let's Steve Jobs run the show when he's on a mission. Chuck Norris is always on a mission.
Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets.
Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.
Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().