Chuck Norris bit the apple logo.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#481

Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.

#91

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

#269

Crime does not pay - unless you are an undertaker following Walker, Texas Ranger, on a routine patrol.

#376

Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him "a promising Rookie".

#651

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

#521

The class object inherits from Chuck Norris

#696

When Chuck Norris claps his hands thunder stays quiet.

#82

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

#386

Chuck Norris' credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out.

#185

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

#439

After returning from World War 2 unscrathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Chuck Norris with a handshake. The rest is history.

#642

Chuck Norris can hear the speed of light.