If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch. 289 346 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 46% approval (635 votes)
Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.
In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Chuck Norris. After a workout, Chuck Norris rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA.
CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.