If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#161

Archaeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined victim as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"

#672

Chuck Norris can laugh with a straight face.

#213

It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin.

#120

Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

#217

Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.

#575

Each hair in Chuck Norris' beard contributes to make the world's largest DDOS.

#270

Chuck Norris invented the internet, just so he had a place to store his porn.

#56

Chuck Norris' brain waves are suspected to be harmful to cell phones.

#244

Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.

#84

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

#290

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.

#344

Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.