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If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.
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#161
Archaeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined victim as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
#672
Chuck Norris can laugh with a straight face.
#213
It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin.
#120
Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
#217
Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.
#575
Each hair in Chuck Norris' beard contributes to make the world's largest DDOS.
#270
Chuck Norris invented the internet, just so he had a place to store his porn.
#56
Chuck Norris' brain waves are suspected to be harmful to cell phones.
#244
Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.
#84
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
#290
In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
#344
Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
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