If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#524

Chuck Norris is actually the front man for Apple. He let's Steve Jobs run the show when he's on a mission. Chuck Norris is always on a mission.

#428

Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.

#155

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

#144

When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.

#180

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

#29

Chuck Norris kills anyone that asks: "Do you want fries with that?". Because by now everyone should know that Chuck doesn't want fries with anything. Ever.

#430

The Drummer for Def Leppard's only got one arm. Chuck Norris needed a back scratcher.

#627

Chuck Norris once pissed in a gas tank of a semi truck as a joke - that truck is now know as Optimus Prime.

#451

When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.

#616

Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.

#389

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

#315

The phrase 'balls to the wall' was originally conceived to describe Chuck Norris entering any building smaller than an aircraft hangar.