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Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
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#80
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
#571
The Chuck Norris Eclipse plugin made alien contact.
#392
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
#421
Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.
#285
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.
#506
Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.
#399
In a tagteam match, Chuck Norris was teamed with Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The Giant. He pinned all 3 at the same time.
#555
Chuck Norris compresses his files by doing a flying round house kick to the hard drive.
#701
Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.
#333
Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
#135
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
#609
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
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