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Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
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#327
They had to edit the first ending of 'Lone Wolf McQuade' after Chuck Norris kicked David Carradine's ass, then proceeded to barbecue and eat him.
#397
A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
#354
Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with obstruction of justice. This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time.
#273
Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder.
#431
Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.
#383
Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.
#543
Chuck Norris protocol design method has no status, requests or responses, only commands.
#587
Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
#475
In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
#730
The reason Superman flies is because he knows Chuck Norris is on the ground.
#681
Chuck Norris CAN talk about fight club.
#709
Chuck Norris can rip a page out of Facebook.
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