There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

379 275

More Chuck Norris facts

#181

Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.

#91

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

#727

Chuck Norris bit the apple logo.

#81

There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

#421

Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.

#465

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in ravioli. He stuffs a live turtle with beef and smothers it in pig's blood.

#30

Chuck Norris' version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.

#366

If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.

#182

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

#734

When Chuck Norris turned 18, his parents moved out.

#272

It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

#348

Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.