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Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
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#654
Chuck Norris can dry his hair under water.
#436
Chuck Norris has banned rainbows from the state of North Dakota.
#641
Chuck Norris once arm-wrestled himself ... and won.
#442
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
#623
Chuck Norris doesn't age, because time cannot keep up with him.
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When Chuck Norris crosses the road, the cars have to look both ways.
#527
No statement can catch the ChuckNorrisException.
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Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick).
#612
There is no April 1st in Chuck Norris' calendar, because no one can fool him.
#556
Chuck Norris solved the halting problem.
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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird!
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Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
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