Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#554

Chuck Norris doesn't use a computer because a computer does everything slower than Chuck Norris.

#147

Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.

#628

Chuck Norris plays pool with comets and astroids. He shoots them into black holes.

#311

Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.

#436

Chuck Norris has banned rainbows from the state of North Dakota.

#373

Every time someone uses the word "intense", Chuck Norris always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.

#501

The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.

#701

Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.

#219

The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.

#595

Chuck Norris never has to build his program to machine code. Machines have learnt to interpret Chuck Norris code.

#41

Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.

#462

When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.