Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

308 335

More Chuck Norris facts

#629

Chuck Norris can stand on his head. His dick-head.

#311

Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.

#305

Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.

#467

The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was a game vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls. Chuck Norris won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.

#724

Chuck Norris can play Xbox 360 with a PS3 controller.

#255

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

#335

The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.

#524

Chuck Norris is actually the front man for Apple. He let's Steve Jobs run the show when he's on a mission. Chuck Norris is always on a mission.

#56

Chuck Norris' brain waves are suspected to be harmful to cell phones.

#135

Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

#101

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

#545

Chuck Norris can spawn threads that complete before they are started.