Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors. 308 337 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 48% approval (645 votes)
Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.
Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
They had to edit the first ending of 'Lone Wolf McQuade' after Chuck Norris kicked David Carradine's ass, then proceeded to barbecue and eat him.
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.