Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#606

Chuck Norris does not need a watch, he decides what time it is.

#212

A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer

#120

Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

#31

Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.

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Chuck Norris

#479

Chuck Norris is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.

#629

Chuck Norris can stand on his head. His dick-head.

#716

Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.

#395

Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag.

#17

The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.

#336

Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.

#121

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.