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Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
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#736
When Chuck Norris stares into the abyss, the abyss nervously looks away.
#144
When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
#320
The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
#311
Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.
#635
Chuck Norris once sold eBay to eBay on eBay.
#87
The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
#125
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
#477
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
#663
Chuck Norris can find the 404 page.
#66
If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.
#583
Chuck Norris does infinite loops in 4 seconds.
#473
A man once taunted Chuck Norris with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Chuck Norris proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.
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