Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

308 335

More Chuck Norris facts

#368

The First rule of Chuck Norris is: you do not talk about Chuck Norris.

#131

Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick).

#678

The Dead Sea was once alive before Chuck Norris bathed there.

#480

In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.

#747

When Chuck Norris crosses the road, cars look both ways.

#402

For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.

#475

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.

#94

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

#487

Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.

#668

Chuck Norris once thought he was wrong. He was, however, mistaken.

#259

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

#91

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.