Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#378

President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time.

#219

The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.

#238

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

#547

Chuck Norris can install iTunes without installing Quicktime.

#401

Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets.

#80

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

#629

Chuck Norris can stand on his head. His dick-head.

#439

After returning from World War 2 unscrathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Chuck Norris with a handshake. The rest is history.

#434

For Spring Break '05, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.

#127

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

#361

All roads lead to Chuck Norris. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face.

#739

Chuck Norris can kill seven with one blow. By literally blowing on them.