Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#396

There's an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris.... Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.

#33

Coroners refer to dead people as "ABC's". Already Been Chucked.

#330

4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.

#545

Chuck Norris can spawn threads that complete before they are started.

#626

Chuck Norris doesn't need a keyboard he tells the computer to write something and it does.

#142

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

#346

MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.

#7

CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

#236

In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.

#559

With Chuck Norris P = NP. There's no nondeterminism with Chuck Norris decisions.

#769

Chuck norris can start a fire with ice cubes

#523

Bill Gates thinks he's Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris actually laughed. Once.