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Roundhouse your way through
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Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
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#14
Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
#21
When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.
#90
In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
#746
Chuck Norris remembers the future.
#241
Chuck Norris' show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.
#373
Every time someone uses the word "intense", Chuck Norris always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.
#400
Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
#581
If you try to kill -9 Chuck Norris' programs, it backfires.
#604
Code runs faster when Chuck Norris watches it.
#726
Chuck Norris doesn't have good aim. His bullets just know better than to miss.
#163
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
#176
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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