Some people can piss their name in to snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name in to concrete. 352 324 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 52% approval (676 votes)
Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
What many people dont know is Chuck Norris is the founder of planned parenthood. Not even unborn children can escape his wrath.
A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
The 11th commandment is "Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris". This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.
The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.