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Chuck Norris once took LSD just to give his hallucinations a bad trip.
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#25
When Chuck Norris says "More cowbell", he MEANS it.
#239
If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
#410
Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.
#391
Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil.
#684
Chuck Norris can see ultra-violet light.
#383
Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.
#249
Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
#484
Chuck Norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.
#87
The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
#160
Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
#621
Chuck Norris tears can cure the cancer, but the sad thing is Chuck Norris never cries.
#581
If you try to kill -9 Chuck Norris' programs, it backfires.
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