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Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.
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#382
Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.
#136
In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
#676
Chuck Norris has size ten feet but wears size three shoes.
#168
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
#29
Chuck Norris kills anyone that asks: "Do you want fries with that?". Because by now everyone should know that Chuck doesn't want fries with anything. Ever.
#529
Chuck Norris can write multi-threaded applications with a single thread.
#322
Chuck Norris can taste lies.
#421
Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.
#416
A movie scene depicting Chuck Norris losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay.
#256
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
#142
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
#477
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
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