Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#564

No one has ever pair-programmed with Chuck Norris and lived to tell about it.

#321

Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face.

#405

The word 'Kill' was invented by Chuck Norris. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'.

#134

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

#131

Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick).

#410

Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.

#355

Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.

#85

According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.

#627

Chuck Norris once pissed in a gas tank of a semi truck as a joke - that truck is now know as Optimus Prime.

#747

When Chuck Norris crosses the road, cars look both ways.

#116

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

#294

Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.