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They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.
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#336
Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.
#75
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
#323
Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.
#535
Chuck Norris doesn't needs try-catch, exceptions are too afraid to raise.
#412
Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
#575
Each hair in Chuck Norris' beard contributes to make the world's largest DDOS.
#159
Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
#588
Chuck Norris can over-write a locked variable.
#153
When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
#290
In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
#525
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
#682
Chuck Norris voids warranties.
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