They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#702

Chuck Norris finished the neverending story.

#211

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

#633

Chuck Norris doesn't win, he allows you to lose.

#727

Chuck Norris bit the apple logo.

#67

The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.

#708

Chuck Norris died years ago, but the grim reaper can’t pick up the courage to tell him.

#281

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

#31

Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.

#529

Chuck Norris can write multi-threaded applications with a single thread.

#187

A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.

#207

Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.

#104

A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.