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They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.
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#426
Chuck Norris' penis is a third degree blackbelt, and an honorable 32nd-degree mason.
#596
Chuck Norris' unit tests don't run. They die.
#168
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
#259
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
#5
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
#440
Chuck Norris runs on batteries. Specifically, Die Hards.
#609
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
#330
4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.
#274
Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
#390
Chuck Norris owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets.
#386
Chuck Norris' credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out.
#722
Chuck Norris once won the Kentucky Derby, on foot.
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