Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes. He disembowels them.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#568

Chuck Norris can dereference NULL.

#67

The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.

#81

There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

#639

Chuck Norris can lock a safe and keep the key inside it.

#248

The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons: Chuck Norris killed the entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice.

#712

Mike Tyson chipped a tooth on Chuck Norris' ear.

#266

How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark.

#31

Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.

#548

Chuck Norris doesn't need an OS.

#636

Chuck Norris made the sun by rubbing his hands together.

#286

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.

#277

Brokeback Mountain is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.