Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes. He disembowels them.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#408

Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless you're Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face.

#256

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

#369

Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.

#725

Chuck Norris can read and write emails from a typewriter.

#171

Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.

#421

Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.

#404

We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

#257

Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground

#519

Chuck Norris can instantiate an abstract class.

#397

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

#70

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light

#697

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.