Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes. He disembowels them.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#228

Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.

#368

The First rule of Chuck Norris is: you do not talk about Chuck Norris.

#126

There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

#711

What is the last thing that goes through the head of any Chuck Norris victim? His foot.

#581

If you try to kill -9 Chuck Norris' programs, it backfires.

#155

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

#714

When Chuck Norris enters into a courtroom, the judge stands up.

#469

Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off.

#669

Everyone has a guardian angel except Chuck... he guards himself.

#428

Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.

#26

As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."

#53

Chuck Norris' database has only one table, 'Kick', which he DROPs frequently.