Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes. He disembowels them.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#537

If Chuck Norris writes code with bugs, the bugs fix themselves.

#665

Chuck Norris doesn't drive, he tells the car where to go.

#444

When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.

#306

How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Just one. From Chuck Norris.

#363

Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.

#124

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

#572

Chuck Norris is the ultimate mutex, all threads fear him.

#265

Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.

#488

Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.

#660

Chuck Norris can grill a popsicle.

#172

The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.

#494

Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().