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Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes. He disembowels them.
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#283
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
#425
There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
#676
Chuck Norris has size ten feet but wears size three shoes.
#637
Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his faucet, he stares at it until it cries.
#280
One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
#695
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
#470
Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.
#708
Chuck Norris died years ago, but the grim reaper can’t pick up the courage to tell him.
#376
Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him "a promising Rookie".
#399
In a tagteam match, Chuck Norris was teamed with Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The Giant. He pinned all 3 at the same time.
#266
How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark.
#381
Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.
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