Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#229

When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.

#173

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

#431

Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.

#33

Coroners refer to dead people as "ABC's". Already Been Chucked.

#469

Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off.

#28

When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'.

#534

Chuck Norris breaks RSA 128-bit encrypted codes in milliseconds.

#265

Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.

#589

Chuck Norris knows the value of NULL, and he can sort by it too.

#247

Most boots are made for walkin'. Chuck Norris' boots ain't that merciful.

#228

Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.

#48

Chuck Norris' OSI network model has only one layer - Physical.