Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#1

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always answers "Two seconds till". After you ask "Two seconds to what?", he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

#353

Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.

#736

When Chuck Norris stares into the abyss, the abyss nervously looks away.

#567

Chuck Norris doesn't use Oracle, he is the Oracle.

#484

Chuck Norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.

#377

There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.

#85

According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.

#682

Chuck Norris voids warranties.

#157

Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!

#281

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

#274

Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.

#494

Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().