Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#487

Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.

#636

Chuck Norris made the sun by rubbing his hands together.

#644

Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush. He roundhouse kicks it to the face.

#604

Code runs faster when Chuck Norris watches it.

#556

Chuck Norris solved the halting problem.

#731

Chuck Norris can cut through steak with a plastic spoon.

#186

Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.

#440

Chuck Norris runs on batteries. Specifically, Die Hards.

#124

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

#708

Chuck Norris died years ago, but the grim reaper can’t pick up the courage to tell him.

#143

While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

#488

Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.