Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.

290 331

More Chuck Norris facts

#387

Think of a hot woman. Chuck Norris did her.

#627

Chuck Norris once pissed in a gas tank of a semi truck as a joke - that truck is now know as Optimus Prime.

#445

Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims.

#701

Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.

#54

Chuck Norris' programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.

#10

When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.

#68

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

#188

Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.

#401

Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets.

#182

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

#638

Chuck Norris puts sunglasses on to protect the sun from his eyes.

#437

Divide Chuck Norris by zero and you will in fact get one........one bad-ass that is.