Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#143

While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

#195

Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.

#400

Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.

#434

For Spring Break '05, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.

#519

Chuck Norris can instantiate an abstract class.

#148

Chuck Norris doesnt shave, he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

#330

4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.

#257

Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground

#226

Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.

#354

Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with obstruction of justice. This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time.

#662

Chuck Norris will make your hair grow faster than Rogaine.

#489

When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it's across the room.