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Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.
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#660
Chuck Norris can grill a popsicle.
#496
Chuck Norris burst the dot com bubble.
#446
In the movie "The Matrix", Chuck Norris is the Matrix. If you pay close attention in the green "falling code" scenes, you can make out the faint texture of his beard.
#385
The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.
#469
Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off.
#388
A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.
#711
What is the last thing that goes through the head of any Chuck Norris victim? His foot.
#358
182,000 Americans die from Chuck Norris-related accidents every year.
#330
4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.
#14
Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
#172
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
#550
Chuck Norris can compile syntax errors.
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