Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#281

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

#492

Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself.

#705

Chuck Norris can read a book in his sleep.

#385

The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.

#239

If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.

#446

In the movie "The Matrix", Chuck Norris is the Matrix. If you pay close attention in the green "falling code" scenes, you can make out the faint texture of his beard.

#88

Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

#338

There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.

#257

Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground

#555

Chuck Norris compresses his files by doing a flying round house kick to the hard drive.

#700

Guns are warned not to play with Chuck Norris.

#340

If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?