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Fact #487

Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.

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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise. Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life. In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe. Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match. Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building. Who let the dogs out? Chuck Norris let the dogs out... and then roundhouse kicked them through an Oldsmobile. See Top 100

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