Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#107

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... A suicide.

#602

Chuck Norris can make a class that is both abstract and final.

#707

Some people can piss their name in to snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name in to concrete.

#716

Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.

#59

Champions eat wheaties for breakfast. Chuck Norris eats champions for breakfast.

#358

182,000 Americans die from Chuck Norris-related accidents every year.

#410

Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.

#223

Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.

#472

Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.

#347

Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.

#273

Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder.

#301

Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the face. This is why it is so deadly to Superman.