Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#491

Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.

#648

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

#8

Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

#583

Chuck Norris does infinite loops in 4 seconds.

#544

Chuck Norris programs occupy 150% of CPU, even when they are not executing.

#9

Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this a slow Tuesday.

#639

Chuck Norris can lock a safe and keep the key inside it.

#174

When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.

#349

The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.

#357

Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard.

#362

July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? I think not.

#281

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.