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Chuck Norris has won the lifetime achievement award...twice.
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#283
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
#691
Chuck Norris is Simon Cowell's judge.
#560
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
#271
Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
#175
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
#115
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
#148
Chuck Norris doesnt shave, he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
#109
What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.
#114
Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe with eleven herbs and spices. Nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
#737
When Chuck Norris went to college, he told his father "You're the man of the house now".
#544
Chuck Norris programs occupy 150% of CPU, even when they are not executing.
#711
What is the last thing that goes through the head of any Chuck Norris victim? His foot.
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